Doing what you love

I am guessing you’d find it hard to find people who are truely doing what they love, for work, in life.

I thought I loved my job – that even if it wasn’t my dream, that I enjoyed giving and serving and helping. Yet I find more and more each day that it’s not the case. I can’t handle the stress, or the back stabbing. I can’t handle being taken advantage on, or being set up for a much larger selfish goal of a company. I want to be my own boss.

I want to draw, paint and spend my days bringing art and inspiration into the world. I love helping people, but not in the way I am now. It is making me ill…..

I need the job to pay the bills and I need a job to live my life.
I want a bit of my life back. I get calls on weekends, and in the middle of the night, and yet I don’t actually get paid the level that it’d be “part and parcel” of the position. My staff earns more than me so it seems pretty pointless.

The man in my life is able to muster and push and look and easily find jobs and has positive momentum. I just seem stuck. pushing forward and sticking and jolting backwards, like a confused tectonic plate, undecided if it will be an earthquake or a small tremor.

Maybe I should be content with my lot, find a basic job with no soul or worries – push my passion and stop putting the expectations of the world on myself.

Maybe one day I will be able to do that.

Maybe…

 

until then….

I wil be surviving